Friend Dumping

Just before I walked into the computer lab for my fourth hour class, I was disturbed by an all too true comment. I had provided a "letter of grievance" that I tried to defend as a note to someone I usually call my favorite person. Its important for you to know this isn't because I like them more than anyone else. Its more of a admiration of their perspective, even though I often disagree. Anyhow, he was not pleased to address my grievance but has been caving a lot (comparatively) recently to my requests either out of lack of sleep, or my preferred theory, response to my endearing nature.

My problem was his insistence on doing the one thing that bothers me. By bothers I don't mean the same as irks, or upset or any of the other words I commonly use to spice up an opinion but don't really mean. By bothers I mean something that shakes me to the core; something that I take seriously. And said person has been not only doing the one thing that really bothers me, but I believe genuinely enjoying the reaction it takes a lot to get.

So aside from my true admiration for my favorite person, there is a bit of camaraderie that I value but I'm not sure if they do.... Its on a level with personal experiences that are hard to understand unless you have them in common. In fact, I have not yet found someone that can really understand it if they haven't experienced it themselves, and half the people who have deny the ramifications. So I appreciate what I assume they understands about me, and what I think I understand about them.

In response to my grievance, which I craftily posed as a question, they said, "You're right, I'm a complete blank. You should friend dump me. "

Now, I hope you understand how serious of a loss that would be. This is, after all, my favorite person. But its got me thinking about how common these scenarios go down. Usually without as clear a procedure, leaving people not only at a loss, but confused as to why.

How many teenagers are going around lost and confused? How many lost teenagers carry that into adult hood? How many adults pass those feelings on to their children?

It has recently been assigned to me to examine my own pattern of pushing people away. The whys, the whens, the hows. Its not pretty. But neither are other people's patterns. One person said to me, "If you don't like freaks, walk away right now." Innocent enough, and even a bit "clever" when considered amongst their close friends. But how serious is that below surface level?

I don't know.... It just bothers me how reckless people have become about their relationships. I don't think I'll turn my back on my favorite person. There has to be a way to make things work.